Ordination Cancelled
Well, it’s certain now that I will NOT be getting ordained on June 28th. Certainly an explanation is in order, although to do so sheds my church, particularly its bishops in a bad light. The bottom line is that I got caught in the middle of bad blood between bishops. I’ll spare you the details, but if you want to know shoot me a note and I’ll be happy to share. I am reminded of the story of Noah and his sons, and the admonition to cover your father’s failings and not expose him to ridicule. (I certainly hope my own children heed that admonition!)
In any event, it’s understandable the frustration and disappoint that we feel….felt not only by us but by all those who love us. Plans had been made and invitations sent out. Family and friends had plans to travel and in some cases had cancelled other plans. I am extremely sorry and ask that you forgive us and our dysfunctional church.
Of course I am also feeling embarrassment. I have not yet purged myself of pride and can’t help but be upset and feel foolish. But embarrassment is good for the soul, as we learn to embrace humility, and with God’s grace I know I can deal with appearing foolish. (Besides, that’s something I have MUCH experience with!)
But much harder to deal with is my embarrassment with my church, particularly its bishops. The church functions most effectively when the bishops are working in concert with the clergy and the people….an ecclesiology articulated by St. Ignatius of Antioch in the 1st century. Our bishops are guilty of neglect…..of our parishes and the clergy serving them. But also of the seminarians who are training to serve the Church. It is true that most Antiochian seminarians are on scholarship; we are truly blessed by this and thankful to God and the church for providing this for us. But we are not cared for and are given little or no guidance and direction. We are supposed to be here at school learning to pastor God’s flock, how can we learn this unless we are being pastored ourselves? And our witness and ability to testify to the Gospel is severely wounded by this foolishness. The confusion over my ordination is just the latest experience.
So, we are hurting, and are very much in need of your love and prayers. We are undaunted in our desire to serve God in the context of the Holy Orthodox Church, as we still know it to be the Faith of the Apostles. Our bishop’s failings are not proof against that, but betray the extent of the fall in all of our lives. “ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” I am in a sense a little relieved at not facing the great task and crucifixion of the priesthood (at least not yet), and am now in a position where I can speak honestly (and prophetically?). I don’t owe anyone anything, “except to love one another.” As my good friend Christopher reminded me, “Deacon, remember one thing and never ever forget it. Priesthood is the Lord’s and not man made. The Lord gave it to you and no one can and will be able to take it from you. It is though in the Lord’s time.”
I owe many of your personal correspondence and explanations, but right now my family and I are on vacation. We’re being ministered to by the Robichaus, and God always provides in His providence. So we will be in touch, but know that we feel your love and prayers.
I take heart from today’s epistle reading from St. Paul’s words about Abraham in Romans 4: “He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform.”
Fdr
(Hey, what can I say….I am not a member of any organized religion….I’m Eastern Orthodox!)
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Reader Comments (26)
Well, cancelled is not the correct word there FDR, postponed is more approriate, we'll make it more of a well deserved celebration when it does happen and not be overshadowed by the PLC.
TJM:)
That's really too bad FDR...know that you're in the prayers of the Ford household. Be well and in the mean time enjoy your vacation. Let's get together once you get back to campus.
?!? I am ... speechless. Please fill me in if you can.
Dear Fr. Deacon Raphael,
Glory to Jesus Christ!
You have my prayers for God's consolation at this time of disappointment and embarrassment. But don't be personally embarrassed by the chaos presently ravishing the Antiochian Archdiocese of North America. It's not your fault or responsibility.
Don't think of the Archdiocese as 'my church.' The Holy Orthodox Church is your church, as it is mine. The Antiochian Archdiocese is just one of the colonialist 'jurisdictions' that have brought all their dysfunctionality and problems into our midst from the Old World and perpetuated them here, causing discord, division, confusion and scandal for nearly a century, while syphoning off valuable economic resources and perpetuating ethnicity and phyletism among the Orthodox Christians on this continent (not to mention elsewhere in the so-called 'diaspora').
Pray for the holy archpastors also suffering from these difficulties, that God strengthen them and guide them to work through the troubles and lead their flocks into the promised land of local ecclesiastical unity. There are many sincere, prayerful and holy ones among them as well as among the clergy and laity. They need our unconditional prayer support.
These matters can be overcome. But the 'late unpleasantness' in the Archdiocese only underscores how necessary and urgent it is that the Orthodox Christians of North America politely but firmly tell the Old World patriarchies to refrain from their inept meddling in the life of the Church on this continent.
They are too far removed, geographically, culturally and psychologically, to do much more than cause problems. We may love them and respect them, but they are out of touch with the realities of the Church in North America and cannot be successful in holding onto their ethnic flocks over here without doing great harm to the local Church. The solutions must come from the local church, not from meetings of Old World churches half a world away. It is enough that they give their paternal support and blessing to the work that needs to be done.
Antiquated imperial court protocol, derived from an historical and political reality that has long since passed into oblivion, cannot be an effective basis for dealing with the spiritual, ecclesiastical, cultural and political realities of today.
The world is stumbling headlong toward the reign of the Antichrist, and we are caught up in, and hamstrung by, turf battles and power politics of no importance to the apostolic mission to preach the Gospel and baptise all nations.
From the start, the Church followed a decentralised administrative structure that has always been the best model, not only for the Church but for Christian society, for, the more that power is centralised, the easier it is for tyranny to arise and take control. That is the thrust of the universal New World Order, which intends to absorb the Church, as well.
Be at peace. No matter how much any of us stumbles, by God's grace, repentance, prayer, determination and goodwill lead us back to the divine fold, where there is peace and harmony according to God's will. Our Lord reminds us that in this world we will have tribulation but to be of good cheer for He has overcome the world.
I am sorry to hear this as I was looking forward to calling you Fr. Raphael and shouting Axios! across cyberspace. You have the prayers of the neepeople, now and always.
Oh FDR, sigh and big hugs. I know that in God's time, you will be ordained, but I can feel the palpable disappiontment. Lord have Mercy.
FDR:
Melanie and I love you and Kelley so much; we're so sorry for the disappointment. Our prayer is that in due time, God will reward your patience with a blessed ministry, and perhaps this experience will assist your work in the shepherding of souls in the future.
Always here if you want to talk, vent, or just come and see your godchildren.
I am terribly sorry to hear about this. You and your family will be in my prayers. If you get time, please email me.
May the Lord bless you all.
Just so you know, Dusty and I are still praying for you guys, and we love you whether you are ordained right now or not! God's plans are unfathomable, and learning to rest in His timing is truly a tough (and sometimes humbling!) experience. Anyway, enjoy the wonderful vacation you guys are having, and we would love to have all of you over for dinner sometime when you get back from all the vacations!
Pavel and I will be praying for you. *hugs*
I know that you know in your heart that everything happens for a reason...we learn and grow from these experiences and that can only be good!! God bless.
Brother, I am so sorry to hear the news. But as I'm sure you know, this can only be a temporary delay. That you are both ready and worthy are unquestionable. It is most unfortunate that the Antiochian Archdiocese is going through such turmoil, and that you suffer as a result. But even so it is only a matter of time before Mother Church confirms your calling with ordination to the priesthood. God willing that day will be very, very soon.
Love and prayers,
Your brother Maximus
I was SO happy the "FDR" thing would be over soon...and now. We will pray for you and God will find a way, sooner or later. I like the icon of the woman begging Christ, you and I and everybody else can learn SO MUCH humilty from her.
Thanks guys! Ya'll are too much!
I am sorry for your disappointment but TJM is right, we will just celebrate your ordination when it happens in its time. Then the focus will be on you and not the PLC,
May our Panagia take you and yours under her protecting veil in this trying time. (you're welcome to come up for a beer and vent whe you get home if you so chose).
In Christ,
Simeon Johnson
Post-poned, that's all, I'm sure. I wonder about looking for another jurisdiction within the Orthodox church that is maybe NEEDING more priests...our jurisdiction (which may be a bit more traditional, too), known as ROCOR. May God guide you to do what is right and have peace of soul and body (mind).
XO
I'm sorry for your bad experience. For whatever it might be worth, my own experience in seminary (I graduated in '07, and I'm also Antiochian) was quite different. We had visits from Antiochian bishops usually 2-3 times per year, including 2 out of my 3 years featuring them as our commencement speakers (incl. Metr. Philip). I was in pretty constant contact with one of them much of the time, and I know that a number of my fellow Antiochians were, as well.
I'm sure none of that likely makes you feel any better, but I did at least want to add some further nuance and perspective to the somewhat absolute sort of comments made above regarding the Antiochian bishops' involvement with the seminarians.
Dear family, Just remember God has a purpose and it is in His time and not mans. Just enjoy your time and rest up for what He has in store for you.
All of our love to you.
GOD DOES THINGS FOR A REASON. ALTHOUGH YOUR PRIESTHOOD HAS BEEN DELAYED, I AM SURE THAT WHEN YOU DO BECOME A PRIEST -- AND IT DOES NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO BE IN THE ANTIOCHIAN ORTHODOX CHURCH -- THIS EXPERIENCE WILL HAVE STRENGTHENED YOUR SOUL.