Bonovox

What?  In January? 

Actually as I was driving in to work this morning, I turned on the radio.  It has become my practice, beginning when I first came to Orthodoxy about 15 years ago, to NOT listen to anything during the fasts, unless it is classical or liturgical music, or a teaching or something.  But mainly I have given myself to silence.  I have always looked forward to feast, when the fast would end, and I would be able to crank "97 Rock," or the newest Goo Goo Dolls CD.  And in my early years that IS what I would do.  Later I began to listen to more News or talk radio.  And as I said, I began to appreciate more "serious music."

But the last couple of years, I turn the radio on, to just turn it off again.  And indeed, that is what happened THIS morning.  I think I have come to the place that I PREFER silence, that turning it noise is not just an ascetical exercise as it began with me.  Could it be that I am changing?  I used to turn on the radio when I woke up, and "rocked through the day."  How much of this is spiritual development and how much is just "getting older?"

Perhaps a change is occurring in the area of food as well.  When the fast is over, I immediately regret the loss of boundaries that it imposes on me.  I find that I do not do "moderation" very well in many areas.  But the desire for rich foods and quantity is gone from my head, although in practice I am still a slave to the chocolate chip cookie or the Mint Tingaling ice cream.

As we sit in the middle of the two 40 day fasts, Nativity and Great Lent, on a Thursday where I can eat what I want and "Rock Away," I ask God to not despise me a sinner, but to always give me every good and perfect gift which is beneficial for my soul, and leads to my salvation.